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Shell: Masters of Environmental Destruction, Not So Keen on New York Relisting Right Now

Posted 2 May 2024 by John Donovan

In a stunning display of corporate benevolence, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan announced that the oil behemoth is graciously not considering relisting in New York at the moment. How thoughtful! Instead, they’re laser-focused on buying back shares, because apparently, that’s what the world needs more of—Shell shares.

Sawan, in a call with analysts, outlined Shell’s noble mission to bridge the valuation gap with its U.S. rivals. Because, you know, when you’re already swimming in oil money, why not aim for even more obscene profits? “We will always have something like a listing or other elements under review,” Sawan remarked, as if to say, “We’re always on the lookout for new ways to exploit the planet.”

And just in case you were wondering, Shell’s shares are currently trading below “fair market value,” according to Sawan. Well, gosh darn it, we can’t have that, can we? Because when you’re a ruthless polluter, it’s crucial that your stock price reflects your true worth as a destroyer of ecosystems. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Profit Bonanza: Because Who Needs a Planet Anyway?

Posted by John Donovan: 2 May 2024

In a jaw-dropping display of corporate gluttony, Shell has proudly announced a first-quarter profit of $7.7 billion, leaving investors rubbing their hands in glee and environmentalists shaking their heads in disbelief.

But fear not, dear shareholders, for Shell has graciously decided to share the wealth by repurchasing a further $3.5 billion of its own shares over the next three months. Because nothing says “responsible corporate citizen” like lining your own pockets while the planet burns, right?

CEO Wael Sawan couldn’t contain his excitement, declaring it “another quarter of strong operational and financial performance.” Ah, yes, because who cares about the climate crisis when there are profits to be made? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Climate Action: A Comedy of Errors

Posted by John Donovan: 2 May 2024

In a truly laughable turn of events, big investors in Shell are urging their fellow shareholders to support greater climate action. Because nothing says “let’s save the planet” like being one of the world’s largest fossil fuel producers, right?

These investors, including the likes of Amundi and Axa Investment Managers, are collectively clutching about 2.5 percent of Shell’s shares and have filed a resolution calling on the company to align its greenhouse gas emissions targets with the Paris Agreement. Because apparently, Shell’s current “targets and ambitions” – you know, the ones that conveniently ignore the impending climate catastrophe – just aren’t cutting it. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s “Green” Exit from China: Profit Over Planet

Posted by John Donovan: 2 May 2024

In a move that truly exemplifies their commitment to saving the planet, Shell has decided to bid farewell to their power generation business in China. But fear not, fellow Earthlings, for they’re not completely abandoning their efforts to combat climate change – they’re just prioritising profits over, well, everything else.

Shell’s CEO wants you to know that reducing global oil and gas production would be “dangerous and irresponsible.” Because obviously, what the world really needs right now is more hydrocarbons. It’s not like we’re facing a climate crisis or anything.

Closing divisions that generate green power and trade in low-carbon electricity, Shell bids adieu to nearly 2,000 employees across China, proving once again that when it comes to corporate responsibility, they’re the epitome of… something.

But hey, don’t let the door hit you on the way out of China, Shell. They’re keeping their electric vehicle charging operation open because, you know, electric cars are the future. Or maybe they just realized there’s money to be made there. Who can tell? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Shameful Nazi Past: Funding Adolf Hitler

Posted by John Donovan 1 May 2024

We’re taking a trip down memory lane to the dark days of World War II. You know, back when Hitler was still rocking his signature mustache and the world was in a state of utter chaos. But guess who was lurking in the shadows. None other than our pals at Royal Dutch Shell.

Yep, turns out, while Hitler was busy turning Europe into his own personal playground, Shell was right there by his side, cheering him on like a proud parent at a Little League game. According to the annals of history, Shell’s big boss man, Sir Henri Deterding, was practically BFFs with ol’ Adolf himself. They even had cozy 4 day meeting at Berchtesgaden, where they presumably chatted about world domination over tea and biscuits. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

US Lawmakers Roast Oil Titans for Climate Circus: Shell Plays Shell Games While Exxon Pulls a Vanishing Act

Posted by John Donovan: 30 April 2024

Well, grab your popcorn folks, because it’s showtime in the political circus! Democratic lawmakers in the US just dropped a bombshell report, and guess who’s in the spotlight? Yep, you guessed it: our favourite fossil fuel fiends, Big Oil.

According to the Democrats’ dossier, oil companies have been twirling their moustaches and cackling maniacally as they pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. It’s like a Shakespearean tragedy but with more oil rigs and fewer tragic heroes. The House Committee on Oversight and Accountability, after nearly three years of sleuthing, finally uncovered the dastardly deeds of Exxon Mobil Corp., Chevron Corp., and our very own Shell Plc, among others.

The report reads like a thriller novel, accusing oil companies of a laundry list of sins. From pretending to support the Paris climate agreement while secretly planning their next fossil fuel fiesta, to hawking gas as a clean energy solution while conveniently ignoring its planet-roasting properties, these guys have truly mastered the art of deception. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Sustainability Saga: Striving for Change While Exxon Laughs All the Way to the Bank

Posted by John Donovan: 30 April 2024

In a world where the concept of environmental responsibility seems as elusive as a unicorn in a concrete jungle, Shell stands as a shining beacon of… well, maybe not. Let’s call it a flickering candle in a hurricane of pollution. According to the Carbon Majors Database, a staggering 80% of greenhouse gas emissions are linked to just 57 companies, and guess who’s playing second fiddle? That’s right, our dear old Shell, right behind ExxonMobil, the world’s big, bad, oil-slicked villain. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Rakes in $1 Billion Annually from US Crude Trading, Lawsuit Exposes

Posted by John Donovan: 29 April 2024

 The mighty overlords at Shell, the beacon of environmental care and ethical capitalism, have been caught with their hands elbow-deep in the oil barrel yet again. In a jaw-dropping turn of events, a former lackey of the corporate behemoth decided to spill the crude beans in a Texas courtroom. And oh boy, what a gusher of greed it revealed!

According to the holy scrolls of court documents, Shell’s secret stash of greenbacks from its U.S. crude trading operations is enough to make Scrooge McDuck blush.

John Dimech, a once-upon-a-time head honcho in Shell’s oil trading circus, spilled the oily tea during his deposition, admitting that the company’s crude trading division churns out a cool $950 million to $1 billion annually. That’s right, folks, while you’re struggling to fill up your gas tank, Shell is swimming in a sea of black gold.

But wait, there’s more! Not only does Shell rake in more cash than a Vegas casino on a Saturday night, but it also showers its traders with bonuses so hefty they could probably buy a small island nation. Move over, CEOs, because these folks are bringing home the real bacon. Forget your measly millions; we’re talking about bonuses that could rival the GDP of a small country. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Co. Dance to the Tune of Deception: Big Oil’s Big Tobacco Moment

Posted by John Donovan: 28 April 2024

Welcome to the latest episode of “Guess Who’s Ruining the Planet Today?” Surprise, surprise, it’s none other than the bigwigs of Big Oil, who’ve been keeping up their ‘charming’ tradition of wrecking the environment while lining their pockets with gold.

Enter California’s knight in shining armour, Attorney General Rob Bonta, who’s decided to take on the corporate leviathans like BP, Shell, ExxonMobil, ConocoPhillips, and Chevron, along with their trusty sidekick, the American Petroleum Institute (API). Why? Oh, just for orchestrating a little thing called the climate crisis.

Bonta’s not pulling punches either; he’s slapping them with a 135-page lawsuit, armed with what he calls “smoking gun” evidence. And guess what? He’s not alone in this fight. Dozens of states are lining up to join the fray. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Falcon Pipeline: A Symphony of Environmental Disregard Hits Sour Note with Pennsylvania AG

Former employees spilled the beans faster than Shell spills drilling mud. One brave soul, Sean Larson, dared to speak up and got shown the door quicker than you can say “transparency.”

Posted by John Donovan: 23 April 2024

Pennsylvania’s Attorney General has had it up to here with Shell Pipeline Co.’s shenanigans. They’ve been charged not once, not twice, but a whopping 13 times with violating Pennsylvania’s Clean Streams Law. Why? Oh, just for repeatedly treating our precious environment like a trash can during the construction of their precious Falcon Pipeline.

Attorney General Michelle Henry isn’t mincing her words, folks. She’s dropping those charges faster than you can say “environmental catastrophe.” Shell apparently had a grand old time “forgetting” to mention all those pesky spills of industrial waste during their little construction project. You know, just your typical “whoopsie daisy” moments where drilling mud—yeah, the stuff they use to keep things slippery—somehow found its way into streams and wetlands. But hey, who cares about wetlands, right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Desperate Dash to Ditch London: An Epic Solution to Their Share Woes?

Posted by John Donovan: 21 April 2024

In a move that screams “What the hell are we even doing anymore?”, Shell, the grand poobah of the London Stock Exchange, is flirting with the idea of dumping the UK for a shot at American glory. But will this desperate shuffle truly be the panacea for their valuation nightmares? Spoiler alert: probably not.

Former Shell bigwig Ben van Beurden seems to think so, eloquently describing London’s valuation of Shell as being on par with a discount bin at a dollar store. Current head honcho Wael Sawan chimes in, echoing the sentiment with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop, claiming they’ve got “a location that clearly seems to be undervalued” and they’re ready to roll the dice on “all options. All options.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Down Under: Prelude of Profits or Prelude to Disaster?

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, folks, gather ’round for another riveting episode of “Shell’s Great Aussie Adventure,” where the profits are plummeting faster than a kangaroo on a trampoline! In the latest saga, our beloved oil behemoth, Shell, has taken yet another hefty blow on its floating Prelude LNG project in sunny north-west WA. But fear not, mates, because the real kicker? They still managed to ship a cool $4 billion back to their global parent! Talk about priorities, right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Unveils Eco-Friendly Fairy Tale: Bio-LNG Plant in Germany

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, well, well, folks, gather round for another installment of “Shell’s Magical Greenwashing Adventure!” In today’s episode, our favourite fossil fuel giant, Shell, is pulling a rabbit out of its hat and launching what it claims to be the largest bio-LNG production plant in Germany. Cue the applause, right?

Yes, you heard that correctly. Shell, the company known for its environmental cough consciousness, is now touting its shiny new bio-LNG plant as the solution to all our climate woes. Because nothing says “saving the planet” like pumping out more liquefied natural gas, right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Climate Conundrum

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, folks, grab your popcorn because it’s time for another episode of “Shell Says What?” In today’s edition, our favorite fossil fuel giant is back at it again, telling shareholders that, hey, maybe we’re doing just fine with this whole climate change thing, thank you very much.

 Shell is urging shareholders to give a big fat thumbs-down to a proposal that would actually push the company to step up its game in the fight against climate change. Because who needs tighter climate targets when you’ve got profits to chase, am I right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Dirty Pipe Dreams: Pennsylvania’s Latest Environmental Offender

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, well, well, look who’s at it again! Our dear friends at Shell are making headlines once more, and surprise, surprise, it’s for all the wrong reasons.

Pennsylvania’s Attorney General’s office is coming down on Shell Falcon Pipeline LP like a ton of bricks, slapping them with a whopping 13 misdemeanor charges for playing fast and loose with environmental laws. Ah, nothing like a little industrial waste to spice up your pipeline construction, right?

According to the authorities, Shell conveniently “forgot” to report a few teeny-tiny issues they encountered while drilling away in Washington, Allegheny, and Beaver counties. Oops! Looks like someone dropped the ball on that one. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and BP: Time to Jump Ship to the Land of Oil Lovers?

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, well, well, look who’s feeling the heat across the pond! It seems like Europe’s giving our dear oil giants, Shell and BP, a real headache with all that pesky climate policy and regulatory drama.

But fear not, fellow capitalists! The good ol’ U.S. of A. is rolling out the red carpet, ready to embrace these struggling energy giants with open arms. That’s right, Houston’s calling, and it’s saying, “Come on over, we’ve got plenty of love for oil and gas.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.